Hello, world. "Wake up, shiney faces!"
It's seven-twenty AM. I've been awake since five-oh-eight AM. Kayleigh texted me, saying something along the lines of 'Too bad Cassie and MC have been talking shit about me behind my back.' Funny how things go around, and then come back around to nail you in the ass. Don't get me wrong, I feel bad. But she's not the one to end up in the hospital. She's not strong but she's stronger than me. She's working on it. And no matter how bad she fucked up, I have faith in her, and I'm not going to lose it. I told her I'd never forgive her. I probably won't. Not for what she did to me, at least. But I'm going to look at it as something to get past, learn from, and make us stronger and closer together. Shit happens, right? Please, no more suicide scares. How bout if it happens again, it happens right. I'll settle for that.
I still can't perfect Wonderwall. But I know the notes, right? Right. Thank you, Hayden. Maybe someday with enough trial... and fail... it'll turn out sounding decent. That is all.
I'm only home at seven-twenty-seven in the morning because at nine, I have an appointment with my second shrink. The bitchy one. I feel bad because I can't pronounce her last name. The spelling is Jourkiv... some crazy Russian or Czech name or something like that. It's something like 'yor-keef' but I don't wanna say it wrong. -.- She's going to be the one that manages my medications, and most likely, the only shrink I'm going to be seeing now. Well, maybe within the next two weeks. Which depresses me even more than helps me, because I love Dr. Schuh. I'd rather stop going to therapy altogether than to stop going to therapy with him.
Locakes just texted me saying 'get here before lunch, you're getting an industrial done!' I'm PSYCHED. I've been waiting for longer than a year. It's going to hurt worse than probably anything else I could possibly imagine, but I'm actually extremely excited. I feel like texting everyone I know right now telling them, hah. I'm going to owe Riad big for this. It's gonna be epic (:
Shanyways. I have a lot more to write about, but... I'm gonna go straighten my hair and make myself pretty. Not like I'm going anywhere special, just the psych ward... fun.
Things aren't the same anymore, some nights it gets so bad
I almost pick up the phone.
Trade baby blues for wide-eyed browns, I sleep in your old shirts
And walk through this house in your shoes, I know it's strange.
It's a strange way of saying that I know I'm supposed to love you, I'm supposed to love you.
I've already given up on myself twice, third time is the charm, third time is the charm.
Through caution to the wind, but I've got a lousy arm.
And I've traced your shadows on the wall now I kiss them, whenever I'm down,
Whenever I'm down. Figured on not figuring myself out.
It's seven-twenty AM. I've been awake since five-oh-eight AM. Kayleigh texted me, saying something along the lines of 'Too bad Cassie and MC have been talking shit about me behind my back.' Funny how things go around, and then come back around to nail you in the ass. Don't get me wrong, I feel bad. But she's not the one to end up in the hospital. She's not strong but she's stronger than me. She's working on it. And no matter how bad she fucked up, I have faith in her, and I'm not going to lose it. I told her I'd never forgive her. I probably won't. Not for what she did to me, at least. But I'm going to look at it as something to get past, learn from, and make us stronger and closer together. Shit happens, right? Please, no more suicide scares. How bout if it happens again, it happens right. I'll settle for that.
I still can't perfect Wonderwall. But I know the notes, right? Right. Thank you, Hayden. Maybe someday with enough trial... and fail... it'll turn out sounding decent. That is all.
I'm only home at seven-twenty-seven in the morning because at nine, I have an appointment with my second shrink. The bitchy one. I feel bad because I can't pronounce her last name. The spelling is Jourkiv... some crazy Russian or Czech name or something like that. It's something like 'yor-keef' but I don't wanna say it wrong. -.- She's going to be the one that manages my medications, and most likely, the only shrink I'm going to be seeing now. Well, maybe within the next two weeks. Which depresses me even more than helps me, because I love Dr. Schuh. I'd rather stop going to therapy altogether than to stop going to therapy with him.
Locakes just texted me saying 'get here before lunch, you're getting an industrial done!' I'm PSYCHED. I've been waiting for longer than a year. It's going to hurt worse than probably anything else I could possibly imagine, but I'm actually extremely excited. I feel like texting everyone I know right now telling them, hah. I'm going to owe Riad big for this. It's gonna be epic (:
Shanyways. I have a lot more to write about, but... I'm gonna go straighten my hair and make myself pretty. Not like I'm going anywhere special, just the psych ward... fun.
Things aren't the same anymore, some nights it gets so bad
I almost pick up the phone.
Trade baby blues for wide-eyed browns, I sleep in your old shirts
And walk through this house in your shoes, I know it's strange.
It's a strange way of saying that I know I'm supposed to love you, I'm supposed to love you.
I've already given up on myself twice, third time is the charm, third time is the charm.
Through caution to the wind, but I've got a lousy arm.
And I've traced your shadows on the wall now I kiss them, whenever I'm down,
Whenever I'm down. Figured on not figuring myself out.
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