So happy fucking New Year! The very end of my 2008 and very beginning of my 20o9 was completely and utterly fantastic. Locakes and I went to this amazing party, got trashed, made the funniest videos in existance, and made so many friends. Well, I did... Lauren was too busy sucking Mike's face. Whom, by the way, is not even attractive. He was at first, but even though I was drunk... no, I wouldn't kiss him. It was a total sausage fest, but that made it even more fun for us. I swear, the beer in the red cups had acid in it. But I didn't do it, cause I was already panicing from being off my meds for like, three days. I yelled so loud when the ball dropped on TV, ran into like four different walls, rejected three different guys and embarassed the hell out of Lauren. Example? She's in a corner, sitting in a puddle of beer basically fucking Mike, and I come in the laundry room where they are with a bunch of different guys going 'LAUREN, YOUR BOYFRIEND'S TEXTING ME.' Bitch move, much? Funniest shit in the world, no one can deny it. Blah, so anyways. We left the party at about two, and since it was all the way out in fucking Centreville, it took us about a half hour or so to get home. My mom woke up and noticed we weren't there, so she called me in the car when we were almost to Huntsman Square. IDSHFOISDHF. I called her back as soon as we got out of the car saying that we were setting off fireworks at Hayden's house. It was believable.
So basically, I had the greatest New Year's eve/beginning of my life. Even spending the night with Nick last year didn't compare, even though it was amazing, too. I'm so glad we got hit by a car as soon as we were on the way to New York... I'm sure I had a way better time at that party than I would have freezing my ass off in New York anyways.
And since it's a new year, and I tend to believe New Year's Resolutions help, I guess I'll post some here? They're obviously not set in stone, but it's something to consider and look back on, and hopefully accomplish.
Number one; make it to 100 pounds or less by my birthday (5/16) and keep it that way until 2010. I've got plans worked out that will hopefully help me to reach that goal, and it's something I've finally decided I can't give up on.
Number two; beat last summer and see Alex 20 times this summer. Summer 2008 only made it to 14, because he moved, but otherwise, I'm sure we would have made it. So even though he lives even further now, I'm going to try to make it work.
Number three; finally spend the night with Alex. It's something we've been wanting to do for a really long time now, and was supposed to have happened by now. But this year, hopefully we can make it happen? YUSSS!
Number four; start dance at Buffa's again in September. I've always loved to dance, and honestly, I can be pretty good at it. I took dance lessons for 9 years straight, I don't know what happened that made me want to stop. So before this year's over, I'm going to start it up again. I'm excited already, and it's just the second day of the year. Until then, I'm obviously going to keep dancing on my own. I love it. (:
Number five; get a tattoo. I already know what I want it to be; on my lower back or my hip, probably the left side, I'd love to get two small puzzle pieces that would fit together, but are seperated, with stars in them. It would signify what Aubrey's tattoo would basically signify, but two different boys, just the same idea; Alex's birthday in 2008, at the lake sitting under the stars for a long time, talking about how everything would work out between us, because we loved eachother and nothing could ever change that, especially distance. My first love means so much to me, it always will. I don't want anyone to underestimate that. But, honestly, it doesn't matter if they do or not. I know in my heart that it's love, and it's going to last forever; I want a tattoo to always remind me of it, too, that'll last forever.
Number six; rearrange my room and paint my doors rainbow colors. No explaination needed in my opinion, it'd just be pretty fucking badass. Plus, I love changing things around and making them pretty, and I hate when things are plain. Everyone who knows me knows that. I think it's really fucking obvious.
Number seven; stop being so freaking obnoxious. Even though I'd be a totally different person if I wasn't, I'd just like to learn not to scream and be so loud, and gawd I hate my laugh. Haha. I'll figure out how to elaborate later.
Number eight; lots and lots of parties. Get trashed or stay sober, just have fun. Make friends with people I never thought I'd be friends with a couple years ago. Just keep becoming more outgoing and confidence will come. I've learned that recently. I'm always going to be changing, but no matter what, I always want to know I have the ability to be happy with myself.
Number nine; become less pukey. I hate how sensitive my stomach is, and how often I have to vomit, or do vomit, or just spend my time being afraid I'm going to vomit. Really, it's disgusting. I'm high, I puke. I'm drunk, I puke. I eat something, I puke. I don't eat something, I puke. I'm too hot, I puke. I'm too cold, I puke. I smoke a cigarette after not having one in a long time, I puke. I get anxious, I puke. I cry too hard, I puke. I get too high to remind to blow out the smoke and swallow it, I puke. I see blood, I puke. I'm sure it's pretty disgusting to be around me when my friends know I'm always puking. That's why my nickname's Pukey. Guh.
Number ten; keep all my New Year's Resolutions. I have a few more, but they're just little things, that I either can or can't follow through on. I know I have the ability to do all of these things, it's just, willpower's a problem for me.
But this year, I'm going to get my learner's permit to operate a vehicle, and I'm super fucking excited. I mean, I have to wait another eleven months for it, and then nine months to actually get my drivers liscense... it'll be worth it. And when I start driving, all hell's breaking loose. I can't wait! And there's my 2010 resolution number one... don't get in too many car accidents, and better yet, don't die. o_o
So basically, I had the greatest New Year's eve/beginning of my life. Even spending the night with Nick last year didn't compare, even though it was amazing, too. I'm so glad we got hit by a car as soon as we were on the way to New York... I'm sure I had a way better time at that party than I would have freezing my ass off in New York anyways.
And since it's a new year, and I tend to believe New Year's Resolutions help, I guess I'll post some here? They're obviously not set in stone, but it's something to consider and look back on, and hopefully accomplish.
Number one; make it to 100 pounds or less by my birthday (5/16) and keep it that way until 2010. I've got plans worked out that will hopefully help me to reach that goal, and it's something I've finally decided I can't give up on.
Number two; beat last summer and see Alex 20 times this summer. Summer 2008 only made it to 14, because he moved, but otherwise, I'm sure we would have made it. So even though he lives even further now, I'm going to try to make it work.
Number three; finally spend the night with Alex. It's something we've been wanting to do for a really long time now, and was supposed to have happened by now. But this year, hopefully we can make it happen? YUSSS!
Number four; start dance at Buffa's again in September. I've always loved to dance, and honestly, I can be pretty good at it. I took dance lessons for 9 years straight, I don't know what happened that made me want to stop. So before this year's over, I'm going to start it up again. I'm excited already, and it's just the second day of the year. Until then, I'm obviously going to keep dancing on my own. I love it. (:
Number five; get a tattoo. I already know what I want it to be; on my lower back or my hip, probably the left side, I'd love to get two small puzzle pieces that would fit together, but are seperated, with stars in them. It would signify what Aubrey's tattoo would basically signify, but two different boys, just the same idea; Alex's birthday in 2008, at the lake sitting under the stars for a long time, talking about how everything would work out between us, because we loved eachother and nothing could ever change that, especially distance. My first love means so much to me, it always will. I don't want anyone to underestimate that. But, honestly, it doesn't matter if they do or not. I know in my heart that it's love, and it's going to last forever; I want a tattoo to always remind me of it, too, that'll last forever.
Number six; rearrange my room and paint my doors rainbow colors. No explaination needed in my opinion, it'd just be pretty fucking badass. Plus, I love changing things around and making them pretty, and I hate when things are plain. Everyone who knows me knows that. I think it's really fucking obvious.
Number seven; stop being so freaking obnoxious. Even though I'd be a totally different person if I wasn't, I'd just like to learn not to scream and be so loud, and gawd I hate my laugh. Haha. I'll figure out how to elaborate later.
Number eight; lots and lots of parties. Get trashed or stay sober, just have fun. Make friends with people I never thought I'd be friends with a couple years ago. Just keep becoming more outgoing and confidence will come. I've learned that recently. I'm always going to be changing, but no matter what, I always want to know I have the ability to be happy with myself.
Number nine; become less pukey. I hate how sensitive my stomach is, and how often I have to vomit, or do vomit, or just spend my time being afraid I'm going to vomit. Really, it's disgusting. I'm high, I puke. I'm drunk, I puke. I eat something, I puke. I don't eat something, I puke. I'm too hot, I puke. I'm too cold, I puke. I smoke a cigarette after not having one in a long time, I puke. I get anxious, I puke. I cry too hard, I puke. I get too high to remind to blow out the smoke and swallow it, I puke. I see blood, I puke. I'm sure it's pretty disgusting to be around me when my friends know I'm always puking. That's why my nickname's Pukey. Guh.
Number ten; keep all my New Year's Resolutions. I have a few more, but they're just little things, that I either can or can't follow through on. I know I have the ability to do all of these things, it's just, willpower's a problem for me.
But this year, I'm going to get my learner's permit to operate a vehicle, and I'm super fucking excited. I mean, I have to wait another eleven months for it, and then nine months to actually get my drivers liscense... it'll be worth it. And when I start driving, all hell's breaking loose. I can't wait! And there's my 2010 resolution number one... don't get in too many car accidents, and better yet, don't die. o_o
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