I love you.
Cigarettes on cold days like this. I wonder if Cassandra misses her LB Bruins swearshirt, cause I've been wearing it avidly. Kelsey, I regret not being myself because karma punched me in the balls when I found out you were missing. I can't wait to see you again and fuck shit up massively. The color orange... I was going to paint my ceiling neon orange, or some shade of orange lighter than my ugly fucking carpet to return to the legacy of amazingness that my room carries. Autumn, because you bring me the smell of crisp sketch processes that are the blue prints for my long and mysterious school year. You're what I always remember most. Mouthwash, because you seem to fix everything.. and taste really good. It's rather convenient. Journals, because you never judge me. You don't hate me when I fuck you up and tell you all the mistakes I've made. When leaves start to fall and practically beg me to rake them up and jump into them. Creativity, because it's how I know I'm still alive.
I love being able to leave the hate behind me now, and I love being able to smile at people I've never met and sit places with people around me laughing and not have to think they're laughing about me. I like not breaking down and being silent when I'm sad and then lashing out at people for hours, and regretting it right after. I like being able to not want to fuck my former best friend up whenever I hear her name, but actually have her come over to my house and get drunk and hang out like we used to last year before everything fucked up.
I'm just excited for life in general now. it just doesn't get any better than this. :)
the weather is absolutely shitty. for as cold as it is right now, it should be snowing. but it's just too lame... I dislike it. a car crashed into the back of a school bus this morning. Ms. Ord let us all get up one by one to look at it, which probably makes her the coolest teacher ever (that, and how she helped dispose of one of her students explosives that were glued to his book project by flushing them down the toilet). I chose not to bring an umbrella to school today, as well as choosing to wear slippers with holes in the bottom of the soles so my feet and pants got soaked and froze, basically. other than that, my day was relatively good. though, I've had a pretty amazing week. Monday, Tori, Greg and I celebrated not having school by getting extremely smacked. there is no way I can object to that. Tuesday, walked aimlessly with Dan. Wednesday, walked aimlessly with Dan. Thursday, walked aimlessly with Dan, and went to Potomac Mills. there's no way I can object to that, either. he makes meh all happy, when he picks me flowers and whole entire fucking bushes and constantly reminds me of his lurkin'ness. it's irresistable, I must admit. tonight is Lauren's night. I'm intending to figure out what I'm doing to my room sometime soon. I apologize for my lack of sophisticated sounding words and randomly deep subjects, it's been a day or so since I've felt poetic at all and now I'm just blogging because I feel obliged to. I'm tired as ballsacks, you have no idea. I might as well go. I'll come back to you lovely bloggers who do not even care about my life when I have something radical to say.
I love you... again.
Cigarettes on cold days like this. I wonder if Cassandra misses her LB Bruins swearshirt, cause I've been wearing it avidly. Kelsey, I regret not being myself because karma punched me in the balls when I found out you were missing. I can't wait to see you again and fuck shit up massively. The color orange... I was going to paint my ceiling neon orange, or some shade of orange lighter than my ugly fucking carpet to return to the legacy of amazingness that my room carries. Autumn, because you bring me the smell of crisp sketch processes that are the blue prints for my long and mysterious school year. You're what I always remember most. Mouthwash, because you seem to fix everything.. and taste really good. It's rather convenient. Journals, because you never judge me. You don't hate me when I fuck you up and tell you all the mistakes I've made. When leaves start to fall and practically beg me to rake them up and jump into them. Creativity, because it's how I know I'm still alive.
I love being able to leave the hate behind me now, and I love being able to smile at people I've never met and sit places with people around me laughing and not have to think they're laughing about me. I like not breaking down and being silent when I'm sad and then lashing out at people for hours, and regretting it right after. I like being able to not want to fuck my former best friend up whenever I hear her name, but actually have her come over to my house and get drunk and hang out like we used to last year before everything fucked up.
I'm just excited for life in general now. it just doesn't get any better than this. :)
the weather is absolutely shitty. for as cold as it is right now, it should be snowing. but it's just too lame... I dislike it. a car crashed into the back of a school bus this morning. Ms. Ord let us all get up one by one to look at it, which probably makes her the coolest teacher ever (that, and how she helped dispose of one of her students explosives that were glued to his book project by flushing them down the toilet). I chose not to bring an umbrella to school today, as well as choosing to wear slippers with holes in the bottom of the soles so my feet and pants got soaked and froze, basically. other than that, my day was relatively good. though, I've had a pretty amazing week. Monday, Tori, Greg and I celebrated not having school by getting extremely smacked. there is no way I can object to that. Tuesday, walked aimlessly with Dan. Wednesday, walked aimlessly with Dan. Thursday, walked aimlessly with Dan, and went to Potomac Mills. there's no way I can object to that, either. he makes meh all happy, when he picks me flowers and whole entire fucking bushes and constantly reminds me of his lurkin'ness. it's irresistable, I must admit. tonight is Lauren's night. I'm intending to figure out what I'm doing to my room sometime soon. I apologize for my lack of sophisticated sounding words and randomly deep subjects, it's been a day or so since I've felt poetic at all and now I'm just blogging because I feel obliged to. I'm tired as ballsacks, you have no idea. I might as well go. I'll come back to you lovely bloggers who do not even care about my life when I have something radical to say.
I love you... again.
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