i have a life.
i can't wait until i can walk the halls of lake braddock again. i'm gonna go see all my teachers from freshman year and i know i'll most definitely cry. i realized that i sound like one of those sociopaths that goes into a school they've been kicked out with resentment and goes crazy killing everyone they encounter. which makes me wonder if people who read this think i'm one of those crazed sociopaths. i mean i have tendencies.
i want to cryyyy. i feel like i just hit myself in the weakest place and i'm in for a lifetime of mental ass-kicking. but it's probably well-deserved ass kicking, and i know for a fact my heart can't take it. it couldn't take it before, it won't take it ever again. i tested the last nerve of my body to try and see if i was as strong as i thought i was. i'm not! should've known.
i cannot remember if blogged about this before; no more therapy for emilie. recently, i've been randomly writing in my school notebooks in the classes i get super bored and creative in. stupid school and its walls forbidding imagination. like mr. ament's classroom... it's like a giant (mental) cockblock. and english class is the only class i feel like i can push myself enough in, because my mind gets wider everytime i go in.
oh oh oh, before i forget, i smoked tetrahydracannibinol from the cannabis sativa marijuana plant today! it was invigorating... most definitely. only because i forgot how to open my mouth and sing, and i kept saying 'you gave me butterflies? batterflies? butterflies in a CINDER BLOCK?! batteries! you just threw batteries at me!' ...i couldn't remember what had just happened. and i swore that i got hypothermia in greg's basement. but i felt good. :) you don't put batteries in the microphone, it's plugged in! yabitch, trying to confuse me and all that stuffs like that.
recently, there's been trouble everywhere. i keep having dreams about cops! and getting arrested or chased or almost dying and random things like that. sex and drugs and rock and roll and dodgers. i don't know what else to say, but there's something chasing us, and chasing the amazing weather. like, something is just catching up to me, mary, bryan, and greg. probably everyone else in my life but my life has just become mary, bryan and dan so i just don't know.
i'm burned out like a crazy person. tonight, i'm planning on taking a shower, making my hair grow with my fantastic idea (that dan will probably never understand) and then looking like shit tomorrow. it should be a good day, i guess. wednesday, short day at school. thursday, thanksgiving with the mussmons.. and mussmon-to-be. and whoever else will be sharing and giving the thanks with the homeskies. i'm pumped. all i gotta say.
damn fall out boy and their 'non-hiatus.' my eye is watering and a tear drop just fell on my toe. i must suck or something.
welcome to paradise.
i can't wait until i can walk the halls of lake braddock again. i'm gonna go see all my teachers from freshman year and i know i'll most definitely cry. i realized that i sound like one of those sociopaths that goes into a school they've been kicked out with resentment and goes crazy killing everyone they encounter. which makes me wonder if people who read this think i'm one of those crazed sociopaths. i mean i have tendencies.
i want to cryyyy. i feel like i just hit myself in the weakest place and i'm in for a lifetime of mental ass-kicking. but it's probably well-deserved ass kicking, and i know for a fact my heart can't take it. it couldn't take it before, it won't take it ever again. i tested the last nerve of my body to try and see if i was as strong as i thought i was. i'm not! should've known.
i cannot remember if blogged about this before; no more therapy for emilie. recently, i've been randomly writing in my school notebooks in the classes i get super bored and creative in. stupid school and its walls forbidding imagination. like mr. ament's classroom... it's like a giant (mental) cockblock. and english class is the only class i feel like i can push myself enough in, because my mind gets wider everytime i go in.
oh oh oh, before i forget, i smoked tetrahydracannibinol from the cannabis sativa marijuana plant today! it was invigorating... most definitely. only because i forgot how to open my mouth and sing, and i kept saying 'you gave me butterflies? batterflies? butterflies in a CINDER BLOCK?! batteries! you just threw batteries at me!' ...i couldn't remember what had just happened. and i swore that i got hypothermia in greg's basement. but i felt good. :) you don't put batteries in the microphone, it's plugged in! yabitch, trying to confuse me and all that stuffs like that.
recently, there's been trouble everywhere. i keep having dreams about cops! and getting arrested or chased or almost dying and random things like that. sex and drugs and rock and roll and dodgers. i don't know what else to say, but there's something chasing us, and chasing the amazing weather. like, something is just catching up to me, mary, bryan, and greg. probably everyone else in my life but my life has just become mary, bryan and dan so i just don't know.
i'm burned out like a crazy person. tonight, i'm planning on taking a shower, making my hair grow with my fantastic idea (that dan will probably never understand) and then looking like shit tomorrow. it should be a good day, i guess. wednesday, short day at school. thursday, thanksgiving with the mussmons.. and mussmon-to-be. and whoever else will be sharing and giving the thanks with the homeskies. i'm pumped. all i gotta say.
damn fall out boy and their 'non-hiatus.' my eye is watering and a tear drop just fell on my toe. i must suck or something.
welcome to paradise.
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