I've figured it all out.
I never want to lose Toby. Ever.
The end.
I never want to lose Toby. Ever.
The end.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
They're coming to take me away.
I woke up convinced that my life was ending. I don't really remember why. I had a dream I went back to school and just walked into first period CPR and everyone looked at me. Mr. Carter was like, The fuck are you going here, Nichols? and I.. rubbed his bald head.. ANYWAYS.
Thursday, I will be nowhere near the vicinity of Lake Braddock Secondary School. I wasn't planning on it in the first place, because I'll just get another migraine and I'll get frustrated with everyone and I'll want to kill a bitch. Plus, now that I'll never have to see Mary Catherine's face again, it's all good. So my intention is to stay home, while the rest of you are still trapped in that hellhole I'd give my nonexistant left nut to go back to right now. (Except not really; I'm enjoying my time home alone) I'm feeling the after-you-haven't-smoked-for-days feeling... the one where you feel like you're in a dream, and your senses have been dulled.
But, here's my point.
Actually, I don't have a point. But continue reading anyways.
I kind of don't have anything important to say, other than this;
I'm going to post the link to this blog in a note on facebook. Everyone who is tagged in the note, will be in the following paragraphs.
There's this one boy that I'd walk the 26 something miles to go see in the middle of summer, after I walked the 7 miles LAST summer, just because I woke up knowing I needed to see him. Ya knoww? It's a good feeling. And after the walk was done, I knew it was worth it. But see, I'll only walk if I don't have enough money for a metro and a taxi or some shit. No matter what his feelings for me are, and how many times I feel like I have to cry over it, I'll always love him, and he'll always be one of the most important people in my life. I hope I never lose him. And maybe someday things will work out according to plan.
There's this other boy I'd like to call my best friend. I know for a fact I would not be alive without him. I feel like you all know exactly who I'm talking about, which is good for me because I don't know how to put any of my other feelings into words. I love him to death, and I could never lose him. He always says he's not gonna make it to thirty, but if I do, he better fucking MAKE SURE he makes it past thirty. Cause, knowing me, I'll get drunk and offer to let someone run me over with a motorcycle. And knowing him, he's the one that'll talk me out of it and stay with me for hours while my drunken ass goes on and on about how I've been in love with Alex since two days after my thirteenth birthday. And he'll always be the only person I'll trust. I love him.
There's this GIRL that I can honestly say, is one of my two only true female best friends. She has the power to push me off of the edge til I get to a point where I'm willing to kill myself, fail, drink a cup full of liquid charcoal, and go to school the next week feeling like absolute shit about everything and willing to stab a bitch in the eye. But she's also the one I care most about, and could bring me up from that shit after she realized how much I love her and need her in my life. When I'm sobbing about boys or backstabbers or something I don't even know why I'm crying about cause chances are I'm high as shit or drunk as shit... she says the stupidest things about niggers and other stuff that makes me laugh til I basically piss myself. Oh and I've never seen anything funnier than when she's high. >.<>
Oh and there are a few people I could never live without, either.
His name is Toby. He's my boyfriend, and my best friend. Duh. He makes me happy all the time. Except for when he spends the night at my house and I wake up at 3am and look over and HE'S NOT THERE D:. But it's okay cause then I end up seeing him coming from the bathroom so I stop freaking out. :D
He makes me happier than I've been in months. Which explains why this relationship KILLS the rest of my 2-6 day relationships since Alex. And it's still going! <3 So I'm in love with him. Not with you. So that's works.
Her name is Natalie. We just became close but already I'm in love with her. Even though I've known her for, like, over a year. Or something like that. She makes everything hilarious... especially when she yells about how I've had sex with a certain someones boyfriend when they're RIGHT beside us, without realizing. Ahem. She's my favorite, and I adore her cute little backwards-writing self.
Her name is Brooke. She's been my best friend since seventh grade, and now that I'm expelled and she's moving all the way to motherfucking Nepal in a few months, I'm scared I won't see her for a really long time. But distance doesn't have anything on us. She'll always be my little loud and obnoxious best friend with the street name Claire, dubbed by Toby. And she'll always have the greatest hair I've ever seen in my life and the cutest little dimples and hopefully she won't lick the mannequin in CPR without me.
His name is James. Although we don't really talk at all anymore, he's one of the most important people in my life. Period. I have had some of the greatest times of my life with him, throwing slippers and having a corn maze marco polo and all. I spend 90% of my life worrying about his depressing ass, because I know I'm the only one that can make him laugh as quickly as I do and I'm sometimes the only one that can stop him from killing himself. I love my ugly Mexican pumpkin so much (even if he is ugly and Mexican) and I always love having time with him. D:
Her name is Paige. Her name is Aubrey. And for what they've given me, I can't even write about. I love you, guys. Without you two, I wouldn't be here.
I owe you all my life.
Thursday, I will be nowhere near the vicinity of Lake Braddock Secondary School. I wasn't planning on it in the first place, because I'll just get another migraine and I'll get frustrated with everyone and I'll want to kill a bitch. Plus, now that I'll never have to see Mary Catherine's face again, it's all good. So my intention is to stay home, while the rest of you are still trapped in that hellhole I'd give my nonexistant left nut to go back to right now. (Except not really; I'm enjoying my time home alone) I'm feeling the after-you-haven't-smoked-for-days feeling... the one where you feel like you're in a dream, and your senses have been dulled.
But, here's my point.
Actually, I don't have a point. But continue reading anyways.
I kind of don't have anything important to say, other than this;
I'm going to post the link to this blog in a note on facebook. Everyone who is tagged in the note, will be in the following paragraphs.
There's this one boy that I'd walk the 26 something miles to go see in the middle of summer, after I walked the 7 miles LAST summer, just because I woke up knowing I needed to see him. Ya knoww? It's a good feeling. And after the walk was done, I knew it was worth it. But see, I'll only walk if I don't have enough money for a metro and a taxi or some shit. No matter what his feelings for me are, and how many times I feel like I have to cry over it, I'll always love him, and he'll always be one of the most important people in my life. I hope I never lose him. And maybe someday things will work out according to plan.
There's this other boy I'd like to call my best friend. I know for a fact I would not be alive without him. I feel like you all know exactly who I'm talking about, which is good for me because I don't know how to put any of my other feelings into words. I love him to death, and I could never lose him. He always says he's not gonna make it to thirty, but if I do, he better fucking MAKE SURE he makes it past thirty. Cause, knowing me, I'll get drunk and offer to let someone run me over with a motorcycle. And knowing him, he's the one that'll talk me out of it and stay with me for hours while my drunken ass goes on and on about how I've been in love with Alex since two days after my thirteenth birthday. And he'll always be the only person I'll trust. I love him.
There's this GIRL that I can honestly say, is one of my two only true female best friends. She has the power to push me off of the edge til I get to a point where I'm willing to kill myself, fail, drink a cup full of liquid charcoal, and go to school the next week feeling like absolute shit about everything and willing to stab a bitch in the eye. But she's also the one I care most about, and could bring me up from that shit after she realized how much I love her and need her in my life. When I'm sobbing about boys or backstabbers or something I don't even know why I'm crying about cause chances are I'm high as shit or drunk as shit... she says the stupidest things about niggers and other stuff that makes me laugh til I basically piss myself. Oh and I've never seen anything funnier than when she's high. >.<>
Oh and there are a few people I could never live without, either.
His name is Toby. He's my boyfriend, and my best friend. Duh. He makes me happy all the time. Except for when he spends the night at my house and I wake up at 3am and look over and HE'S NOT THERE D:. But it's okay cause then I end up seeing him coming from the bathroom so I stop freaking out. :D
He makes me happier than I've been in months. Which explains why this relationship KILLS the rest of my 2-6 day relationships since Alex. And it's still going! <3 So I'm in love with him. Not with you. So that's works.
Her name is Natalie. We just became close but already I'm in love with her. Even though I've known her for, like, over a year. Or something like that. She makes everything hilarious... especially when she yells about how I've had sex with a certain someones boyfriend when they're RIGHT beside us, without realizing. Ahem. She's my favorite, and I adore her cute little backwards-writing self.
Her name is Brooke. She's been my best friend since seventh grade, and now that I'm expelled and she's moving all the way to motherfucking Nepal in a few months, I'm scared I won't see her for a really long time. But distance doesn't have anything on us. She'll always be my little loud and obnoxious best friend with the street name Claire, dubbed by Toby. And she'll always have the greatest hair I've ever seen in my life and the cutest little dimples and hopefully she won't lick the mannequin in CPR without me.
His name is James. Although we don't really talk at all anymore, he's one of the most important people in my life. Period. I have had some of the greatest times of my life with him, throwing slippers and having a corn maze marco polo and all. I spend 90% of my life worrying about his depressing ass, because I know I'm the only one that can make him laugh as quickly as I do and I'm sometimes the only one that can stop him from killing himself. I love my ugly Mexican pumpkin so much (even if he is ugly and Mexican) and I always love having time with him. D:
Her name is Paige. Her name is Aubrey. And for what they've given me, I can't even write about. I love you, guys. Without you two, I wouldn't be here.
I owe you all my life.
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